My Babies are Growing Up!

I know growing is a fact of life. Time constantly moves by - sometimes more slowly than other times - but it's constantly going. Some days I wish I had a remote control to either fast forward or pause time, mostly just pause time and keep things the way they are, keep my girls how they are right now. So, last night Calvin and I went to a three-year-old preschool meeting for Chloe and a kindergarten meeting for Aubrey. I've been aware of the fact that both girls will be going to school for forever, but somehow at the meeting last night, it made it all the more real. Someone said to me when they found out about the meetings, that I'm going to have two kids in school. Enter the remote, where I can pause time. I don't want to have two kids in school. I don't want them to grow up yet. I know Aubrey's in school right now, but it's not full time and I'm good with that. I love that she can go and learn and still be home with me for most of the day. I'm just not so sure about this all-day kindergarten thing. I know she has to go. I know she'll love it. But I'm just having such a hard time letting go. I know this is just the first step of many times where I have to let her go and spread her wings and see how she does. But I'm dreading it. Not just for Chloe, who's going to have such a hard time without her sister to play with. But for me too. Frankly I will just miss her. She's such an awesome kid! She's helpful, kind, sweet, caring, thoughtful, and great to have around. Sitting in that meeting last night, I was both excited for her and all the things she's going to learn, but so sad for me and the time that I'm losing with her. It made me so sad! Thank goodness we drove separately or Calvin would have had to deal with me and my tears on the way home. I'm sure it's partly hormones, but it's also just the fact of letting go. She's my oldest, my first. It will be great for her, but not easy on me. But we'll manage. We'll go forward. I'll make it through and curb my sadness so that she can be excited and happy. As for Chloe, it's hard to believe that she will be in school too. I feel like it wasn't that long ago that she was just born. Now she's going to school too. Like I said about Aubrey, I'm okay with preschool. It's only two mornings a week. I can handle that. She'll hopefully be with her grandma (who's the aide), which makes it all the more easier. And she'll make some new friends, which will hopefully help her not miss her sister so much. Add to that the fact that I'll have a new baby to care for and distract me and I think I'm okay with her and school. She'll still spend most of her time with me. Thank goodness we have months before all this new school business starts. My goal is to make this time with my girls count, before it all goes quickly by.